Windsor Star Blog Posted – A Lesson In Wiping

Front to back, folks. Always, front to back. If you’d like to know how we teach our kids how to wipe their bums, please read my blog!

If not, well, that’s okay too. Happy Wiping to you.

PS. Due to the content of this post, it was pulled from The Windsor Star site. Harumph.

Here is the blog post, cuz I know yer dyin’ to read it!

*Note: Bathroom words will be used in the post! The following pertains to ‘at home’ going to the bathroom. The rules change a bit when we’re in a public bathroom. 

I realized that in my panicked effort to get Miller to poop on the toilet – and to poop at all, for that matter – there was an important part of the process that still needed to be addressed. That is, now that she’s pooping on the toilet, I’m gonna have to teach her how to wipe herself. And not just her, but Jett as well. When Jett turned six in May, one of the things that changed in his life was that mommy and daddy weren’t going to wipe his poopy butt anymore. He wasn’t thrilled with this new progression. (Okay, I’ll admit that sometimes I’ll get a wipe in there. And I still always check to see that he’s gotten it all. No one likes an itchy bum.)

But the matter of wiping is an important one. One that will last the rest of their lives. It’s as important as washing hands and putting the seat down. Right? Right. I’ve read some other blogs on teaching kids how to wipe, and really, there is no way around using words like bum or butt, poop and pee. So bear with me, please.

Here’s what we teach our kids about wiping:

1) First of all, make sure you’re sitting comfortably on the toilet seat. Be sure to be seated far enough back so that when you pee, it doesn’t squirt out the gap between the toilet seat and the toilet bowl. Yes, both Miller and Jett have miraculously managed to pee through the gap. Onto the floor. And the rug. Jett knows to tuck his part and Miller knows to sit back.

2) Enjoy yourself! It’ll come out. When you’re done…

3) Make a layered bunch of toilet paper in your hand. Like so:

This way, there is a nice, relatively flat surface with which to do the wiping. (We monitor the amount of toilet paper pulled off the roll. Too much is wasteful and clogs the toilet.)

4) ALWAYS WIPE FRONT TO BACK. No matter what. Yes, your little arms can reach. Gently pull the toilet paper from the front parts to the back part. This way, any back part yuck stays there and doesn’t move into the frontal regions.

5) Look at what’s on the toilet paper. If there is poop on it, then fold the toilet paper over to get a clean spot to use to wipe. If the toilet paper is too dirty, then put it in the toilet and get more toilet paper. Here is ‘the fold’:

6) Do another wipe FRONT TO BACK. Look at the toilet paper again. If there is still poop on the paper, put it in the toilet. Get more paper and repeat. If there is still poop on the paper then you need some reinforcements. (We all know about the kind of poop that keeps on givin’ during wiping time. Gah.)

7) Use a baby wipe to get the rest of the rest of the poop. We have a container under the sink for use at all times. DO NOT THROW THE WIPES IN THE TOILET. Wipe FRONT TO BACK. Look at the wipe. Throw it in the garbage. Hopefully, you’ll get what’s left with the wipe.

8) When finished, stand, pull up pants, look at poop, flush and wash your hands. With soap. Always with soap.

We teach them that at any time if they need help, we’re there. We teach them to pay attention to their poop. Not only does it help  keep the fear of ‘losing parts of themselves’ away, but it shows them if their guts are working okay. If they have diarrhea, they’ll know. And, frankly, it’s exciting for them to see what they’ve eaten appear as a floaty, brown poop worm.

My apologies if I’m grossing you out. I have Ulcerative Colitis. I simply must pay attention to my BMs – and my kid’s BMs too!

I’ll be honest, I don’t want our kids running around with itchy bums. With stinky, dirty drawers. Yeah, I know, this will happen. They’re kids. They’re learning. But I’m determined to teach them well when it comes to wiping. ‘Nuf said.


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