Yesterday I was nervous for no reason.
Or, wait, I was nervous because I didn’t have anything to be nervous about.
Does that ever happen to you?
So my ‘work on my own stuff’ promise to myself for 2018 is going well enough. But it feels really, really weird.
Like, I have a list of things to do…projects to work on. And slowly I’m getting through the list. Some things have carried over from last year, and that’s fine. I was prepared. But…also, I’m getting them done. Then I have time. To work on my ‘own’ things.
Take yesterday, for example, I got an editing project off to the author. By 2pm. In the afternoon. I picked up the kids from school. And I had all this time. To wonder what to do next. I had time to wonder. It was very bizarre. I ended up watching tv with the kids. Isn’t that hilarious?! I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t possibly just sit and write. Or could I? I worried instead.
This afternoon after I picked up the kids, I worked on another project. I reached my goals for this project within two hours. *Clap. Clap. She clap-wipes her hands together.* Done. Posted. Then I made dinner. Lots of dinner. Chicken. Stew. And two quiches. I’m cooking like a mad woman. Cooking. Me?!!
I ate with the kids. We talked. Laughed. Watched a funny show together. Then, together, we cleared the table and did the dishes.
By 7pm – everything was done.
Hmmm.
I changed the shower curtain and rug. Went downstairs and did a load of laundry.
Weird, right?
Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. And getting work done?
It feels weird.
This week, two of my three ‘writing’ days are WIDE OPEN.
I’m a little freaked out about this. I’m thinking about sleeping and watching movies instead of writing.
HECK NO, LADY!!!
Don’t worry! I won’t….but that’s where my brain goes when I am faced with time to do some actual writing.
No deadlines.
No pressure…but that which I put on myself….and, well…golly, I don’t wanna do that to myself anymore.
I’ll let you know how it goes, okay?
How’s your writing coming along so far?
Oh…and I took some photos….
I’m working in black and white….because nothing is black and white. I hope to write to these photos.
VANESSA SHIELDS, writer 