: the recollection of a submission discovered like plastic treasure
upon receiving its rejection
why did i write that poem?
why did i believe it was good?
why did i pay the fee and send it into the ether of highly flammable hope and vapid validation?
twas a fugue move
a brief flash in the pan – mind-numbed by theme or desperation or self-sabotage
or all three
utterly disturbed and
bloody barefoot on the high wire yet driven to
experimental expressions: write revise send
blah blah blah
there it goes…..
twas a fugue performance
reprimanded by a tweet announcing the winners
– their names acupuncture needles lifting the memory of the words
from deeply tensed muscles pushed together to form another layer of loss
I forget to feel until I feel it again and again
these repetitious fizzles
negate each tiny recovery
it’s better to forget
to keep beginning again
to let layers leaven like sweet bread