On Grant Applications As Considered by Shirley Valentine (in conversation with Wall)
Oh Wall, are we doing this again?
Am I right heading ‘round the bend believing
my writing is good enough for a fat wad of money?
Wait a minute!
Oh Wall! It is good, my writing!
You know it. Of course you do!
I’ve been reading it out loud to you for decades
You never complain, do you Wall?
I make a mean eggs and chips, and I write a grand sonnet, I do!
So let’s do it, Wall!
Let’s be courageous and fill out the forms
Let’s have another go of it, shall we?
My words are right as worthy as everyone else’s!
After, Wall, we’ll celebrate with a big glass of wine by the beach
the sunset will want to hear my words too, you reckon?
I’ll read some out loud, right Wall?
Right. I’m on it, Wall, like my vagina around
a handsome man’s – well, you know what I mean, Wall
For the Shirley in me…
I just rewatched one of my favourite films, Shirley Valentine. It has lifted my heart beat and tossed it onto the Mykonos shore in Greece!
If you haven’t seen this lovely, funny, provocative, profound film, I urge you to! (I mean, the scene about the clitoris is right incredible, I tell you!)
Shirley Valentine, One for the Road was originally penned as a one-person play in the form of a monologue by writer Willy Russel.
VANESSA SHIELDS, writer 