Spaghetti squash and ballet. These are two things that are greatly impacting my life these days. I had a bowl of spaghetti squash mixed with butter, fresh tomatoes, fresh parmesan cheese and roasted red peppers for dinner tonight. I ate this delicious meal after doing an hour of intense ballet conditioning (a la ‘element ballet conditioning’ DVD). I jumped so much I peed (moms, you understand). I stretched so much my nose touched my knees. I pointed my toes so much my feet cramped. I worked so hard my body sweat and shook. These are all good (albeit painful) things.There are things that I’ve added to a life schedule that looks much different than it has in the past. I’m right on track!
This week marks the beginning of my schedule change wherein I dedicate two days to writing. Two whole days. Hours and hours in a row. In a quiet row. I awoke Monday morning with dancing butterflies in my belly. Yes, I was nervous to be home. In my office. Alone. With just me and the words. Usually this scenerio is a treat. Now, we’ve created our schedule such that it’s a way of life. It has to be if I’m to have a ‘career’ as full-time writer. I’m working toward this. And I’m loving every terrifying, elated moment of it.
I also started teaching the second part of Memoir classes I created. It’s a work-shop/seminar-style class that includes writing and critiquing. It’s quite an overwhelming commitment. There is pressure to write and there is pressure to share and there is pressure to assess each other’s work. I say pressure because that’s exactly what it is. But it’s good pressure. It’s motivational pressure, which I think, at some point in our writing life, we need. We support each other the journey to get the writing done. Shit down. Shut-up. And write. In our class, we know we are all going to be doing the same thing over the next eight weeks. Knowing this, it’s okay to take on the challenge of writing, sharing, critiquing and being critiqued.
It’s amazing practice for when we’re ready to send our writing out into the world beyond our writing groups, journals, and classes. To a place where writing queries feels like writing resumes – and I haven’t met anyone who enjoys writing resumes!
If the fire is burning, do you run and get water or do you stay and get warm? When you’re ready to dream big and you decide to live the dream, it’s not easy. But there’s a ‘fire’ within – call it creativity, call it chutzpah, call it moxy – we’ve all got it in us. The women in my writing class teach me that we all have dreams and it’s a conscious choice to live them – and to light that fire within and take a step towards it to get warm. To catch on fire, if we must, in order to get the words out. Or the paint on the canvas. Or the steps to the dance. You get my metaphor.
My truth is that I’ve got a seriously gargantuan fire of words burning within me and I can’t deny it spitting out of me at ferocious rates. In order to accommodate this continuous flow of fire, I had to change things in my life a bit. Just like we gals in the memoir class are gonna have to change our lives a bit in order to share our stories – to write them and share them and receive each other’s kind yet honest critiques. We can do it. We are doing it.
What ignites your fire? Are you burning up inside or unleashing the passion? What’s your fire truth?