Holiday Time (Almost)

So this is what I’ve been up to:

• buying and wrapping gifts
• writing and sending holiday cards
• helping the kids with school work/home work
• reading poetry

Our dining room table is Grand Central Station. What’s hilarious is the heave-it-off-to-eat-then-put-it-all-back-on habit that we’ve all grown accustomed to each time we eat dinner. Oh, you do that too? Excellent! I was talking on the phone to a writer friend of mine earlier this month, and she had to go get a piece of paper. I could hear rustling in the background. She said: “My dining room table is a mess!” Earlier today, I was talking to a mom in the schoolyard, and she mentioned that her table was a mess as well. Golly. I think the gift here is that we all have a big table on which to work and eat! And that we’re all busy with life and family and love such that our tables get filled up as a physical representation of our busy-ness. Forget about a plate – I’m into filling a whole table, thank you very much!

That said, my office is quite neat and clean! I’ve managed to organize a few piles off the dining room table and put the jazz away. File it. Recycle it. Put it in the ‘must do’ pile (which is now small and manageable) in my office.

What you can’t see in the photo, however, is all the inside stuff that I’ve been doing. My inside table (aka soul/heart) is pretty full as well. It seems that the year’s end is bringing on some strong reflections and feelings of existential-must-deal-withs. Turns out my soul/heart needs some gift-receiving. Who knew? And so I’m meditating again (loving it) and writing the poop out of my journal. I’m reading some pretty soul-shaking books (including some incredible Canadian poetry) that are helping me figure out how to move from my current state of ‘I-don’t-know’ to ‘I’ve-decided-to-do-this’. I might add, I’m a big fan of out letting one’s self marinate in the ‘I-don’t-know’. It’s a valid place to be if one truly doesn’t know what to decide. The challenge is to shift out of this place, right? I’ll get there.

I’ve watched many of my favourite holiday films: The Family Stone, Something’s Gotta Give, White Christmas, Julie & Julia, New Year’s Eve, Dan in Real Life, and my favourite, The Way We Were. I love me some Barbara and Robert. Sigh. Always reminds me of the time I should hands with Sydney Pollack at the Toronto International Film Festival. He directed The Way We Were…except I hadn’t seen it yet! I hadn’t fallen in love with it. I would have told him how much I loved it…how grateful I was for his wonderful direction…instead, all I was thinking was: he was in Eyes Wide Shut with Tom Cruise! That’s one degree of separation from Tom. Sigh. I make myself laugh.

And so, we’ve got a few days left in the week before the no-work/no-school holidays begin. We’re all ready for the break. It’s amazing how our minds and bodies crave it when they know it’s coming. Like that wonderful feeling of a flipping belly when you think about an upcoming vacation. You know what I mean? Even when it’s months away…all it takes a thought to get your body happily excited.

How is your holiday prep going? I hope you’re enjoying buying or making gifts, writing cards or decorating your space…perhaps these particular holidays aren’t your favourite…perhaps you’re feeling stress about where to go and who to see and when (how do you fit all the visits in?!)…well, friend, know that you’re not alone. There are so many things we can stress over.

But there are so many things we can be grateful for. Let’s hop on the grateful sled, shall we?