Accumulation

I’ve been gathering photos for you. Photos of things I’ve done…gathered…achieved…done to my skin.

I’ve been accumulating things to tell you.

Why has it taken so long to share these things with you?

I don’t know.

Hesitation turned to later turned to tomorrow turned to now-it’s-too-late.

Why do I do that to myself?

Why do I withhold?

I don’t know.

But I’m paying attention to this pattern.

It’s not too late.

It never is.

I wrote a song for my Nonna. It’s called ‘Take You Back’ or maybe ‘Song for her Soul’. It is made up of four chords. The four chords I can play the best. I really love playing the guitar. I move in and out of giving the musician in me attention and time. But no matter the distance of space in between strums, I always feel at home in a home that isn’t quite mine yet. But it still feels like home. (Thank you Karen for giving your time and wisdom to this home you’ve lived and thrived in for years!)

I received an Honourable Mention in this year’s Polar Expressions poetry contest. I submit to this contest every year because, well, it feels like another kind of home. I love the folks who organize it. I can feel their care and love for poetry.

I got two new tattoos. One is of a spiral goddess. She represents the best known modern symbol of the Divine Feminine. Both the spiral and the moon are strongly associated with Her. The moon is the symbol of the Goddess, and its three phases – waxing, full, and waning – relating to the three aspects of Maiden, Mother, and Crone.

The other tattoo is of a thimble. It is in honour of my Nonna – seamstress extraordinaire…the most loving, love-filled woman I know. My new collection of poetry is currently titled: thimbles.

An essay I wrote about my Nonna’s courage and my fear of losing her was published in a beautiful book called ‘Fear and Courage’ published by Exisle Publishing as part of its Timeless Wisdom series. When I received this book in the mail, felt it in my hands, I cried. It is a hard-cover beauty that I am grateful to be included within.

This is a photo of a house that I am using for inspiration in a new novel I’m writing. In the story, this house is a library. The main character works at this library. Every time I look at this picture, I feel heat in my chest and I feel the characters…the books…the story. I love these feelings. Though it doesn’t always move me to write, it does make me feel good about the story, and that is enough.

I experienced a full-circle dream come true. It was that I went back to my high school as a professional writer to teach the students about writing and living the life of a writer. It. Was. Incredible. What’s wild is that I found a photo of myself in one of my yearbooks under the heading: Writers of Tomorrow. In my heart, I always dreamed that I would go back to high school to talk about my writing life. I spent a full-day there in the fall. I spoke to over 400 students. By the third presentation, I cried. I was so happy. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was teaching the kids that poetry matters. It was truly an extraordinary day. Thank you purple Raiders and the Assumption High School English Department for inviting me home!