Dear Universe

Dear Universe,

I need your help. See, I’ve been carrying the world on my shoulders and the people I love in my arms and I just can’t seem to move anymore.

I was wondering if you could hold the Earth for me. Take her in your arms and tell her that everything’s going to be okay. That the people who inhabit her will eventually get their shit together, work as a team, and start taking better care of her and themselves. There may me many lives lost, but we will get our shit together.

I was wondering if while you hold her, you could rock her gently. Maybe sing her a tune and swing her a bit like she’s your one true love and your at a dance and she loves dancing so you dance with her. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her. Over and over again. Dip her too. I’m sure she’ll like that.

Perhaps you could balance her on a star when you get tired. Let her glisten in the dust of a thousand twinkles. Then maybe you could hold all the people I love in your arms next. See, I think my love is making me blind. I’m looking in every else’s mirror and not my own. And I’m forgetting, Universe. I’m forgetting who I am and what I look like and what I believe. Have you ever been foggy? Hazy? Unable to see and feel clearly? Maybe that’s what your Milky Way is…it’s your foggy part.

The thing is I just want everyone to be their best. To love themselves like I love them. Unconditionally. To let themselves be joyful. To let themselves be sad. To let themselves be challenged. To let themselves fail and, of course, succeed. Success is so much greater following a few solid failures. Maybe that’s what asteroids are? Your planet failures. Swooping and sweeping around the stars, searching for a place to land.

Universe, I wonder if when you hold the people I love, if you could shine the warmth of ten thousand suns into their souls so they’ll always know inner light. I wonder if you could calm their worries, quiet their negative voices, and feed them with all the wishes that we wish upon your stars. That should fill them up, shouldn’t it?

I promise that when I’m a little lighter on my toes, when my shoulders stand tall and firm, when my back straightens and strengthens, I’ll put the world back on my shoulders and I’ll hold the people I love in my arms.

But Universe…can we make a deal that we’ll share the load from now on? That we can build a commitment to share the burden of the Earth’s woes and the people I love’s struggles?

What’s that, Universe? You have a request of me? Go ahead. I’m listening.

You want me to love myself? 

Um, okay. I can do that.

You want me to look in the mirror and be passionate and gentle with my own reflection – inside and out?

Well…I can do that, yes.

Oh, Universe…did you just say that I need to love my belly?!

Yes, yes, Universe. I love my belly. Anything else? No. Okay.

Well, then. Are you ready to take the world off my shoulders? To take the people I love from my arms?

Because, dear Universe, I’m ready. I’m ready to give them up.

For now.

I’ll send you love, Universe. I’ll send you love while I rest and reinvigorate. While I search, find and remember. While I fail and succeed. Because even if I’m not carrying the world and the people I love, I certainly can’t stop loving. It’s who I am. It’s what I’m for.

Thank you for this, Universe. Thank you for helping me. I’m going to jump in the laughter songs of my children and nestle there for awhile. It’s perfect there. In the laughter.

I love you,

Vanessa