Here’s a day-by-day breakdown:
Day 13 – Wednesday, November 13th
I was able to 1,044 words on Wednesday. And I recorded a vlog.
Day 14 – Thursday, November 14th
Nada. Niente. Nothing. Zilch.
Day 15 – Friday, November 15th
I had a wonderful editing meeting with my editor and we talked about plot and chapter three. Although we did ‘work’ on my novel no new words were written.
I was feeling very overwhelmed.
Spent the evening with my best friend and writing soul mate wherein we ate delicious Thai food, played 20 questions (although we only got to answer about 7), talked about writing (which blew my mind, and made me realize I’ve been wrong about what a dystopian novel is), went to a bookstore and opened our favourite books to the first page and read each other the first lines….It was both amazing and inspiring, and heartbreaking and frustrating. THERE ARE SO MANY AMAZING WRITERS IN THE WORLD.
Day 16 – Saturday, November 16th
I was the MC at one of our best friends’ wedding so the day was spent prepping for the ceremony, then the reception. I did not have one minute to do anything but wedding prep and hang with the kids before the hubby and I left for the reception. Partied very hard. Danced all night. Got home after 2:30am. Had sooooooo much fun!!!
Received a critique of the first three chapters of my novel from the glorious Authoress (of Miss Snark’s First Victim). Not only does she offer kick-ass Secret Agent contests but she also offers critiques from time to time. Her words were intense, honest and…well, there were many!
Day 17 – Sunday, November 17th
Didn’t get out of bed ’till 11am. I. AM.NOT.20.ANYMORE. And my body was telling me so. I wasn’t too hungover, but boy was I tired. Spent the day hanging with the kids, doing laundry, cleaning, and visiting other family members.
Also, couldn’t stop thinking about my Authoress edit suggestions and overall critique. Realized that I might have to make some HUGE decisions about character development and structure – and it begins to FREAK ME OUT. Consequently sent the critique to my editor for her to check out, and we’ll be tackling them in our upcoming session this week.
More on FREAKING OUT.
- am feeling like maybe I should stop thinking about quantity and focus on quality – that pushing forward in an attempt to hit a word-count mark may not be the best idea RIGHT NOW.
- am also feeling the exact OPPOSITE of the previous point with the same intensity and frustration. maybe pushing forward and continuing to write is the BEST IDEA EVER because i don’t want lose momentum.
- am feeling like my writing sucks and my idea is boring.
- must ACCEPT that my story has many dystopian aspects and am feeling like a FOOLISH jerk for thinking that it’s not – mostly because i never really stopped to look up what dystopian means…and because everywhere I go it seems like dystopian novels are NOT WANTED by agents even though THEY KEEP GETTING PUBLISHED and I get confused and frustrated even more because I think I’m thinking too much about what an agent might want over what I want to write and say about the world. BLARG.
DYSTOPIA (from Wikipedia):
A dystopia is a community or society, usually fictional, that is in some important way undesirable or frightening. It is the opposite of a utopia. Such societies appear in many works of fiction, particularly in stories set in a speculative future. Dystopias are often characterized by dehumanization,[1]totalitarian governments, environmental disaster,[2] or other characteristics associated with a cataclysmic decline in society. Elements of dystopias may vary from environmental to political and social issues. Dystopian societies have culminated in a broad series of sub-genres of fiction and are often used to raise awareness of real-world issues regarding society, environment, politics, economics, religion, psychology, spirituality, or technology that, if left unaddressed, could potentially lead to a dystopia-like condition in the future. For this reason, dystopias have taken the form of a multitude of speculations, such as pollution, poverty, societal collapse, political repression, or totalitarianism.
- am feeling TERRIFIED to make decisions for the world of my novel. everything from what people wear to what the state of the collective mindset is. feeling like this should be THE FUN PART and yet it’s scaring me to have this much power.
- am trying to be realistic about my time. some mornings i just CANNOT get up, much less get up and WRITE. and if this happens then there’s really not time later in the day to write. i’m feeling guilty about this fact.
- have been asking myself that question…the big one…you know…WHY AM I WRITER? and its best friend: WHAT IS THE POINT?
- watched this TED talk by artist and musician Amanda Palmer and SAT ALONE AND CRYING AT MY DESK whilst thinking – the same can be said for writing and reading. and purchasing books and sharing ideas and BEING VULNERABLE in this line of ‘work’.
- realize what a solitary engagement ‘writing’ is…and maybe i’m just lonely and scared…but not sure why all of a sudden this is making me feel differently about the ‘work’ and getting the words out.
- am flying low in the land of ‘i don’t know’…my feet want to touch down and stay awhile. cop a squat on a nice, soft patch of warm grass and eat chocolate, and watch the love scene in Crazy, Stupid Love where Ryan Gosling takes off his shirt and lifts Emma Stone up like she’s Jennifer Gray in Dirty Dancing – over and over and over again. This guy…
- in this scene – sweet mother of all things delicious….
- get excited at the idea that Ryan Gossling could totally be in the movie version of my novel. emma stone too, for that matter. sheesh. realize my brain is so far beyond the ‘work’ of writing…and maybe that’s the problem.
- realize i spend sooo much time thinking about the writing (which counts) but not enough time writing the writing.
And that’s about enough of this. Did I just spend time pasting a photo of a shirtless Ryan Gossling in my post? Fer realz!!!!
Miss Shields. Git yer shit tagetha.
I have 1.5 hours to write.
Going. Now.
How’s your writing process at this point in the game?!!!
VANESSA SHIELDS, writer 