On Endurance

ENDURANCE

“the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way”

It takes endurance to be a writer. A whole lot of it.

While the act of writing itself may not be ‘unpleasant’, it can energetically be difficult. Because it takes a bucket of small miracles to get one’s butt in a chair and writing.

It takes the power to choose to give time and energy to the words.

It takes communication with your support system (family/friends/work) to help you make this choice and create the time to write.

It takes energy – physical and mental – to allow the words to flow out of you. Doesn’t matter if the words are based on lived experiences or if you’re creating a new language and universe that your characters live in.

It takes confidence that the words will come without inspiration or provocation – but simply with the time and space to give them freedom. The muses are real, but they aren’t on call.

It takes endurance to stop and start and stop and start and stop and start however many times it takes to hit your finish line – completion of a first draft. And then, my friends, it takes even more endurance to hit the editing & revising process and do it all again.

I’ve been sick for the past ten days. Like, can barely breathe without coughing kinda sick. Things are leaking that shouldn’t be. My tongue feels weird from the antibiotics and my stomach feels like a country at war. Endurance has played an important part in my daily life – to get up, get dressed, manage mothering and work and school and writing. I’ve been doing a not-so-great job. It’s difficult for me to not be productive every day. To not write every day. It doesn’t feel right. And I feel mega-guilty for missing so many events that I wanted to attend to support family and friends. I’ve been ‘off’ in so many ways: physically, spiritually, creatively these last couple of weeks that it’s starting to scare me.

It has been very unpleasant waiting for my body to fight this infection.

But the word endurance has been ringing in my good ear all day.

At the beginning of this year, I promised myself change. I wrote my list of 2018 goals  and have done my best to stick to them. I still have not purchased a new book! I’ve been sticking to my intentions and feeling good – then I tore my MCL in my right knee – and now I’ve been sicker than I’ve been in years. I didn’t expect for part of this learning process to include such physical challenges. Yes, I know it could be worse. Much worse. I’m not being dramatic, but I am being conscious of the fact that my body is a vessel. A vessel that, as I use it, needs extra care and time to stay healthy.

So watch what happens…

It takes the power to choose to give time and energy to keeping my body healthy.

It takes communication with my support system (family/friends/work) to help me make this choice and create the time to be healthy/heal.

It takes energy – physical and mental – to allow healthiness to flow out of me.

It takes confidence that I can be healthy without inspiration or provocation – but simply by making healthy choices.

It takes endurance to stop and start and stop and start and stop and start however many times it takes to hit my finish line – creating healthy habits for the mind, body and soul. And then, my friends, it takes even more endurance to hit an illness block – then stop to heal then do it all again.

The connection between my creative output is directly related to my health. I know that is obvious…but when we go-go-go the obviousness of it gets hidden in ‘musts’ and ‘just gottas’ and ‘just one more bites’ and ‘I’ll exercise tomorrows’…

This year is a year of learning life lessons – one of them that I didn’t know I needed to focus on is taking better care of my ‘vessel’.

I have the miracle of this body – this ONE BODY.

I have practiced writing endurance, now I must practice vessel endurance too. Because the two cannot exist without each other.

I’ll add that within this miraculous vessel, there is only ONE HEART and ONE SOUL and ONE BRAIN. These parts cannot exist without each other. When one is weak or suffering or ill – the others feel it. They each need special care and acute attention. It takes practice and, yes, you know it – ENDURANCE – to continue to learn how to keep them healthy.

Thanks -coughcough- for reading. Sniffle.

Peace.

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2 thoughts on “On Endurance

  1. Sorry to hear you are sick Vanessa. I can relate because it sounds like the bug I had earlier. I love that you have created such beautiful meaning from it. Hope you feel better soon.

    Like

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