I just googled ‘bats’ thinking I’d put an image of a bat here because I had wild dreams about bats last week. As soon as I saw a photo of a bat in flight, it occurred to me that bats are a hot subject these days. That it is from a bat, some say, that this coronavirus came. Huh.
Doesn’t negate the fact that I had a wild dream about bats. I was in my bedroom (or a room that kinda resembled my actual bedroom, but it was bigger) and all of a sudden hundreds of tiny bats flew out of the walls and all around the ceiling then out the windows. A few of them caught in my hair but were able to disconnect and fly away. The bats were very small – each could fit in the palm of my hand. I wasn’t scared of the bats per se, but of their speed and the sheer amount of them. It all happened very quickly, and soon all the bats were gone and I was left out of breath and wondering what the heck just happened.
I looked up the animal totem significance of bats. Bats as animal totems signify major life changes. Often misunderstood as scary, night creatures, they are, in fact, kind and cuddly (with each other, I assume!). And, they are perceptive which extends into their spiritual meaning realm too. Bats as totem animals suggest that one who connects with a bat totem is very perceptive.
My dreams are a wild landscape. A new recurring dream has me on a beautiful university campus. It’s big and there’s only one building where the food is. I’m late for a class, but I’m super hungry so I need to eat first. There is only one entrance into the cafeteria building. In front of the door, is a huge piece of lawn and it is covered in poop. A group of people stand beside the building watching those of us crazy enough to walk through the dump to get in the door. A guy ahead of me thinks he’ll run through it, slips and lands in it. The people watching laugh. I sneak in…miraculously when I get inside, my shoes are clean. The poop is gone. The inside of the cafeteria looks like a food court in a 1980s mall. There are maybe five food places, all offering different ethnic food. I’m so hungry…but I have to look at the food before I decide. Nothing looks right. I settle on the greek food kiosk. There are two older women with big hair in black nets, and red lipstick on their scowling mouths. They don’t speak English. I point at a gyro and some lettuce, hoping they’ll decipher that I want a greek salad with gyro meat on it. They don’t…but they fondle the food with knives and tongs and reveal that the meat is rotten…everything is rotten. I tell them no…and back away. They don’t understand. Then I wake up.
John Krasinski continues to make his way into different dreams at different points in the dream. The latest was that I met up with Jenna Fischer (she was on The Office with John). We were friends. John came up to her/us. She suddenly had to go…and told John to hang with me. He obliged. Our attraction was instant and fierce. The rest of the dream is…ahem…well, my secret.
Bats. Poop. Food. John. My dream life is nearly as full as my waking life. Apparently, many people are having wild dreams since the pandemic started. It’s a legit ‘happening’ – at least that’s what the segment host on Sunday Morning said. You know it’s legit if they’re doing a segment about it on Sunday Morning.
I’m still writing in my journal nearly every day…sometimes twice in one day. It’s keeping me able to breathe…able to think…able to get through the myriad of emotions I feel every day.
I’ve also been pulling oracle and moon cards. And praying. I believe that faith is seeing an increase too. Or in the least, check-ins when we need somewhere/something to surrender our fears to.
Getting back to the bats though, I’ve been thinking very much about transitions and change. Certainly, on a global scale, things are changing massively. It’s debatable how/why and what outcomes of the change(s) may be. No matter…big change can come from the collective of small changes, and this is where my heart has been roaming.
As a small business owner (which I feel weird calling myself, but it’s true. Also, I’m married to a small business owner…), I’ve been faced with some new feelings about ‘transition’. So, I’m doing lots of writing and dreaming about what this difference in ‘work’ means…how it looked ‘before’, how it looks and feels ‘now’, and what it might look like in the ‘future’. This is keeping my head and heart busy working together.
I finished reading ‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle . Her name came up several times before I purchased her book (thanks Biblioasis!) so I took it as a sign to read her words. It was a fast, interesting read.
I’m still reading ‘The Overstory’ by Richard Power. I’m sooo close to the climax but I’m scared of how the story will end…and so I’m avoiding finishing it. The same is true for Miriam Toews’ new novel ‘Women Talking‘. The subject matter makes me want to throw up. Really, I got dizzy and nauseated the last time I was reading it. So, I’m putting it down for now. It’s like my fears of unknowing how things will end is reaching into my reading life. I don’t know how else to explain these fears of finishing.
Last night I started reading a YA romance. Super cheesy, but easy and a nice place to settle into before I fall asleep.
The New Moon comes on the 22nd. I’ve been following the moon more too. It’s another way for me to pay attention to my energy…the planet’s energy…and find calm, loving ways to wade through the sludge that is this bizarre time.
I was an actress over the long weekend. Indeed! I played a lead role in Jett’s short film! I played…wait for it…The Mother! It was a lot of fun working with Jett; watching him create and make directorial decisions. What an exciting experience. I had to memorize lines and rehearse. We laughed a lot. Big laughs. I can’t help but feel Jett’s creative soul growing right in front of me. It’s extraordinary…and I can feel that his passion for films will lead him down an amazing path. No, I don’t want him to ever leave us! But…he will. And we’ll manage what happens to our hearts as his life unfolds!
Oh look! The sun is shining brightly! Yay! Gonna go make dinner…
Be kind. Be safe.