Poem 33 – Two Girls

Two Girls

two tweens sit in a hallway
backs against the wall
in casual harmony

want some fries? 
says a girl
okay says a girl

two tweens munch on
McDonald’s fries during
a break in a workshop
in a boring building in
Troy, MI

they talk
they eat
they giggle

you’re being so nice to me
says a girl
a girl doesn’t understand the
statement so she lets silence
hold it between them

I’m black 
says a girl
so? says a girl
we have the same name
yeah, says a girl, we do

it’s cool says a girl
more fries?
okay 

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My first day back diving into my young adult novel was a bit of belly flop. After about an hour reading through the previous three chapters so I could remember where I was in the story, I wrote about 800 words. It felt like I’d forgotten how to swim. I took a break to eat and whilst chewing on chips and salsa I realized I’d made the wrong plot choice. I’d revealed something way too early in the total wrong way. I took out all 800ish words and put them in the ‘extra’ chapter (where words go to…die?!). I stared at the laptop screen and sighed. Then I wrote. I finished a chapter and started the next. The flow returned. I remembered how to lift each arm and become one with the water.

I’m using Scrivener to write this novel. I really like this program. It allows me to see all my chapters, research, notes, characters at once. It’s easy to scoot back into a previous chapter so I can see dates, clothing, dialogue and last names. I can never remember my characters’ last names. Why is that?! In any case, Scrivener is working well for me.

I felt kinda nervous about getting back to the novel. My tummy was a bit…wobbly. My goal is to prioritize my days like this: meditate, write and post my poem a day/blog, work on the novel, break for lunch, work on the novel, break around 3pm. Then on certain days, there will be little to no novel so I can work with other writers and prep for workshops/events. There’s a bit of cramming going on in those days that are not dedicated to the novel. And, I know that even though I’ve got it all planned out, the unexpected will show her goofy face and swing me in circles.

Emails and texts come in steadily. My friend suggested I turn off my notifications so I don’t hear/see them come in. But…that feels like hands around my throat. I feel guilty not paying attention to what’s coming in. I want to respond to things. But I also know that I will respond, and it doesn’t have to be immediately. It’s fascinating how we handle our time and what we feel around communication, isn’t it? Even when the work we do is our heart’s work and it’s important…there is always a list of ‘other’ that keeps us on our toes!

And so, here’s to day two of working on the novel. It’s past 11am and I haven’t started yet. Here’s to poem 33…completed around 9am, but only posting now because of an ‘other’ that needed to be completed first. Here’s to going with the flow and paying attention to all the feels we feel when we write.