September 9
Before
suddenly, without warning
like the dazzling sting of
a fast slap on naked skin
this invisible marker in time
after all the visible deaths
comes from within
soon living in shocks
collages a new reflection
in the same mirror
September 10
It’s A Different Alone
I am mid-fall and losing
the fears of letting go
she asks: what would
it feel like to not think
about them dying?
these light-waning eves
reaching for the equinox
for the supple darkness
that marries falling leaves
to tender soils…
I’ve never felt this kind
of alone, this soul-shucked
loosening, this fluttering
flexing, knuckle-knotted
un-knowing, the assonance
of loneliness that softens
the blows of intentional
change… because I choose
to let go as I scramble for
the devastating beyond
this body as mother
death is definite like
seasons, weather
a leaf landing – I
will land willingly
without you
it will kill me
infinitely and I will
love me all the more
for you
VANESSA SHIELDS 