For me, this has been a time of…#morningcoffeesessions

living things

for me this has been a time of
gentle consistent denial
desperate powerful pushing
A
W
A
Y
of hailstorms
each icy ping of virus-fact rain
smacking tender parts of me
the side of my neck
the under of my armpit
the dimples above my bum
cold awakenings
jolt my emotions
into hyperdrive

I cry every day
sometimes twice
sometimes dry sobs
sometimes wet wails

then I read that the whales are joyous!
their waters more free of noise than
they’ve been for generations

if I could choose to be any living thing
I’d choose to be a humpback whale
massive graceful
fluorescent green with no envy
of being anything other than itself

my heart cannot accept
the curves the charts the tolls
at the speed in which they unload
the players are too unprepared
the director is illusive
quick to attack
scoffing at our meagre
attempts to vaccinate
as he hides in the shadows
at the back of the theatre
in the round clicking his light on and off
teasing us with a script
then yelling at us to go off book

and books have never been happier!
being fingered and fondled
ripped off shelves
dusted revisited
inky medicine for terrified souls
education and escape gifts
between covers

it is easier for me to pretend
that nothing is very wrong
that nothing is very changed
that for now I’m running in a
daisy-dappled field playing
hide-and-seek between
flapping flat sheets
clothespinned to a line in the sky
tied between redwoods and the
banyan in the distance has
opened a door for me to crawl
into so I can nestle into roots
of generations of living things
that know how to survive anything
gently
desperately
pulling themselves
together